| Since Ive been gone... |
[08 Aug 2005|08:07pm] |
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mood |
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Well. Its been quite awhile. and i really dont feel like shareing all that has happend in the past DECADE! ... or... well like 9 months. Besdies the fact that everything seemed to be going so perfectly. and it was. as of july 24th my life hit the shits. just because Jake decided we where'nt going to make it any more. so here i am torn into peices.
its been abodut 15 days since, and we still talk constantly. and we act like nothings changed which sucks. and I know where going to get back together but the waiting is harsh..
I quit kmart (FINALLY), started working for macys then quit, and now im a senior working flakly for a lady in the real estate buissness.. cant wait for this year to be over thoe, ill update later
...Me
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[16 Dec 2004|03:46pm] |
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mood |
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 geeky |
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I'm nowon my way too Oregon. Too Spend 4 days with the One I love.
<3 6 4 2 3 3 7 0 text it.
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| and you are...? |
[11 Dec 2004|04:52pm] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
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music |
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twisted sister. where not gonna take it |
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I really hate how I don't ever go to any holiday parties...
I wish I had family that lived semi-close to us, so I could see them and actully know them.
We recived some Xmas cards in the mail today. I read a lonnnnnng letter. (litterally long) on like 8 different people and how there doing and all that good jolly stuff; and yet I have No idea who they are! suppoasbly there cousins of mine, or something. It's sad, really sad. . .
Anyways last night was fun. and today I got up did nothing, went back to bed. Got up. Did nothing. Went back to bed. Got up. Got my nails done, & in 45 min I get to go to WORK! YES! :[. bye
5 days.
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[10 Dec 2004|01:14pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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music |
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Oleander-walk alone |
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Looks like my dad is doing better. and All that good stuff.
Work - well I almost quit. I say that every day. :] but really this time. & Im fed up with the people their.
I got an Apolgy from an old friend, that I havent spoken too in forever. Which was Nice. :]
& I think Im going to go see Mandy, at work tonite.
6 days
<3
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| snif |
[02 Dec 2004|08:48am] |
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mood |
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 nauseated |
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music |
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brown eyed girl |
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This morning about 5 :30 a.m I was awoken to the sound of sirens,
crying, loud obnoxious talking, and my dog barking like crazy. I
had no clue what was going on - tried to roll over and go back to bed.
Sleep seemed more important to me then the world out their.
I couldn't handle it.
Open my door and their was my mom, kind of shaken up.
Informing me that my dad had a heart attack.. I wasn't really sure of
what happend so I looked behinde her and see them lift my dad into one
of those deathbed looking wheely things. and I ran into my bed full of
tears. Next thing I knew she said they where taking him to the hospital
and My mom asked if I wanted to come, I brushed her off with a NO. and
cried like a baby. Then I called Mandy, and she came to my rescue. Shes
been here with me all morning. I dont know what I would do with
out her.. Dad's being transfered to hayward, and is going to be their
all weekend. :( Im leaving in a bit to go see him, The doctors
say he should be fine. but they have to run some tests. like always.
I know hes going to be okay. Just the thought of him having a heart
attack scares me so much, If anything where to happen to my dad, Id be
lost. really. I dont think ive cried so much ever. Hes a tuff guy I
know he can stick it out. Everytime I think of him just anything makes
me want to tear up. sighs.
I just hope hes going to be fine.
I love him,
:(
</3
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| why'd the turkey cross the road?... |
[25 Nov 2004|04:15pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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Al Green - lets stay together |
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I got up @ 7 a.m. to spend most of my day at work. How fun. it
was so bizzy- why why why... do you people shop on thanksgiving.. GO
HOME get fat.. But nope. So I got off at 3ishhhh.... and now im waiting
to EAT!
:]
happy thanksgiving all.
( What are you thankful for? )
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| Nothing as usual |
[21 Nov 2004|08:59pm] |
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mood |
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cold |
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music |
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tix tox goes my clock |
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I'm kind of bored, Like
usual. Tomarrow I have a test In History, and for some odd reason I'm
driven to want to study.. Unforetenetly I have no idea where my history
book is. I don't even recall owning one. It's sad I know. :\ Jake
and I talked last night from 11pm - 7 am it was so Nice. I
was so tired though. I don't even know what we talked about, but
he sang me to sleep. hah :] I love him dearly!
Chelsea called me like 5000000 times today to see if I would come in to
work to save her.. so i gave in. worked from 3:30-7:00 it was so Bussy.
It was like Christmas gone Bad. It actully looked like a tornado swept
through the place. Kmart is so pitaful. I need a new job. The u
p-side I found a dollar on the floor. SCHWEET! I
saw James P. @ work today. I haven't seen that kid in Like FOREVER. the
first thing he said was "holy shit" or somethin along that line. It was
funny, I tried to help him find a black zip-up jacket.. No luck.
Then after work I saw Nick Sorcie. which made my day. I havent seen him
since forever too. he works at subway now, and he makes an
awesome sandwhich. We chatted up about old times and now a days. looks
like he's doing good. :]
So it's freezing so I'm going to bundle up and hopefully catch Jake.
<3
24 days.
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| I know you well enough to know |
[19 Nov 2004|12:34pm] |
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mood |
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 lazy |
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music |
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TBS |
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Yeasterday was a Minium day, and it was great.
Ashley Greenwood , Casey Peirce and me went to Breakfast before
our second period class. Then after school, Mandy and me where going to
go to the concord mall.. Well Ashley and Casey wanted to go. Then Darin
and Jenna wanted to and so did Chuck. Not enough room in Amanda's car
so it just eneded up being Me, Darin, Casey and Mandy. Due to
process of elimination and not to go choosies..
I dont think I've laughed so much in my life. On the way there and
back. Darin and Casey got matching shirts and me and mandy attempted to
shop for our bfs. Casey tried on some sexy Furry coats for woman
and I picked him out a pair of Sweet jeans. Then we all went to the
Mandys work to watch the Incrediables. So we could pass up traffic. It
sucked... then we went home. It was a long day. But fun.
Luke called amanda during our day and got mad because he said it
sounded like we were all on a double date. We tried to explian that
Casey has a Gf who he likes very much. and that Darin is just Darin....
wasn't cuttin it though. So i got on the phone had a little chat with
Luke and now im in trouble with Jake. Or so i think? Luke thinks I was
making up excuses so he wouldnt tell Jake... well I know he did and I
wasn't.. I called Jake last nite and he didnt even seem interested to
talk to me. I even said I love you and he said "ok bye" I told him to
call me later if he wanted and he never did so I figure he didnt want
to... Oh well I still had a good time and Im not going to let him bring
that down. He needs to understand that I have Guy Friends too.. Just
Friends. but I know if he went out with a girl I'd be mad as hell..
eeek Relationships are so complicated.
So tonight Im supposed to go to the Ep. with Ashley cus I promised
Banks I would go see C.W.R then I think Im going to go to the game just
cus I havent been to one in a thousands DAYS.....
( Kiss This )
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| I walk alone |
[17 Nov 2004|12:35pm] |
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mood |
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full |
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I'm so tight on money right now.. *sighs* I can't even afford gas/ well who can?
I spent 300$ on absolutly nothing and I feel like a fool.. I hate money. It's so depressing.
28 days and I'll be Happy/ :]
<3
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| mwah |
[14 Nov 2004|12:16am] |
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mood |
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grateful |
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I've never in my whole life cried over someone for so long.
Last night. after he called and made me feel awful.
I cried..
Today on the phone with someone else explaining..
I cried.
I finally got his Package he sent me.
Read the letter...
Cried.
Saw all the pictures
I cried.
Seen the Flowers he sent me.
I cried even more.
Listend to the cd he made me..
I Cried
and cried.
Then at work I just had to cry.
We had a fight.
I cried
We had to :talk:
I cried
he told me he loved me and he missed me.
I cried
He didn't know why I was mad. and neither did I .
So I cried
and I now know im in love
So I smile and cry
Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle...rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be.
Work was okay except for me being an emotional mess. But it got better
then it got worse. then Much better, we all went to dennys and i think
Im going to be sick. :\
I <3 J-A-B
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| god |
[13 Nov 2004|12:21am] |
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mood |
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sad |
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School sucked. I had an Okay day, but then it got shitty
towards 4th. Then work was good. Just great, it went by hecka
quick....
Then after we all went out except for Audry cus yea. Chelsea, Angela,
Nicole and Bri all squished into my tiny ass car. It's hella fun
with them, but Im so different compared to em. They are all ghetto and
Im just not lol. So I feel hella dumb around them,but at the same time
its fun.
Then Jake called and sounded irritated that I was out, and he hung up
after like a second... second night in a row he hasnt "felt like
talking to me" how lovely he maakes me so mad sometimes. I cant even
began to explain it.
</3
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| It's Raining, it's pouring & the old man is Snoring |
[11 Nov 2004|06:44pm] |
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mood |
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cold |
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Holy crap is it pouring out today! I love it. Although it was an awful day to go driving around.
I got up @ 8 and headed out too walnut creek, too see my sister at Le
Jardin Spa. (her work) and got an hour body massage and my brows waxed.
Nice Nice.. Got Some starbucks, went to the mall by myself - got some
stuff then went back to her work. Then Spencer came and we all met Kyle
for lunch at La Salsa. Right around the corner was Mandy's work so I
figured I'd stop to say hello. She was swamped with coustmers so I just
left.. Then I followed Spencer home, (because I can get lost in a
paperbag) and stoped in Yoch to see my mom, now Im waiting for Jess to
call because where all going to go to see "saw". hmm.. today was good.
except. when i had a missed call from Jake, and decided to call him
back, even though i knew he may still be at the funeral thing he had to
attend today/ and someone picked up saying it was the wrong
number....im a little skeptical. why?
<3
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| sigh |
[10 Nov 2004|01:06pm] |
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mood |
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distressed |
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I'm home right now, for lunch-7th. which is a normal B day rouetein. I
went to work to get my paycheck. I made plenty of money. :] so
i'm happy. But in a little bit of a rut, because I've worked 60 hrs.
which in the case that I am, can't ever happen again. I'm allowed to
work 40 in 2 weeks. So they say. & now i'm in a rut. too much to
explain but whateve.'
I talked to Ashley today, for the first time in AGES. which was nice,
even though I felt like we where distant. which made me reflect upon my
situations and how I no longer own a life. Work is wok. It's money. I
like it. But I don't have any free time to do "anything". Or
speak to my friends. I bearly talk to Amanda now. & Kristie is just
in my car once in a while. I feel like such a loser now. I go out with
ppl from work Fri & sat. then I go home and sleep. I'm to tired to
do much, I hate it. As much as I say I hate it. I need it. I
can't just up & quit. My mom thinks I should, but my dad wont even
'discuss" it with me. " you need a better job, one that you'll
like" he says. I "actully" like working at kmart. The people are
friendly, and it can be fun, when your working with certin people. Some
days it's hell but what isn't? & untill I find another job I can't
quit. I dont want to quit, I just want diff. hrs. which I cant seem to
get... My supervisor told me I was young and I dont need sleep, so be
happy with the hrs I have. I feel Like im a full-time working women.
Oh how Im bothered.
Now Im waiting for Jakes letter to arrive.
I need a girls night out
<3
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[06 Nov 2004|07:08pm] |
I <3 him.
I'm on my lunch break, and I came home. for nothing. No ones home so it sucks. I guess I'll just go back. Psh. I think I'll go call Jake. :]
I dont have anything interesting to say. My life involves my love,friends and work. what else. nothign. so I guess ill update when something interesting happens.
40 days
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| finally |
[03 Nov 2004|10:39pm] |
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mood |
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satisfied |
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Okay I couldn't stand it. I called him. and he knew I
was pissed.. haha. he had reasonably good excuses as to why he didn't
call so i let him off the hook just this once. He's supposed to call me
back in afew... hmm.. better!
So im in a better mood. I guess i just wanted to share that.
Goodnight
<3
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| grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr |
[03 Nov 2004|09:30pm] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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I have an outstanding headache, and Jake is really pissing me off.
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[03 Nov 2004|03:36pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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I called in sick today. My ears hurt. I can't hear.
Good luck Brenna.
and thats all.
<3
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[02 Nov 2004|10:50pm] |
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frustrated |
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music |
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incubus |
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I'm frustrated. .
Today I over-slept so I didn't go to school. Which was fine, although
it is funny, how you can be home all day and right when it comes time
to actully have to go somewhere (work @ 4) you look back and realize
how not-so-productive you where. What a waste, to a shameless day.
Work was bussy bussy. but slow. No one came in. which is a usual drag,
because there is never anything to do. But of course Robyn always finds
things to do in that place. & today I was occupied with
fixing everyone elses mistakes. Some idiot doesn't know how to price
things and so there was a shit-load of items on racks that where either
[over/under] priced. It doesn't seem like a big deal. BUT OH HOW
IT IS.
I think I have an ear-infection or Im just crazy. & Jake
hasn't returned my calls.... wth/ ? I know for a fact he is not
avoiding me, and you may think that its not true, but I can tell you
it's not it. haha. but its not fun. him and Luke have been going to bed
earlie which since I dont get off till 10 and get home at 10:30
leaves me with no time to talk to him I guess.. :\ . Well fine. 2 can
play that game.
You do something too me, that I can't explain.
<3
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[01 Nov 2004|09:09pm] |
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mood |
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hungry |
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I'm here without you, but your still with me in my dreams.
I came home from school today at lunch, for I felt like crap. My
stomach was tore up from the night before (i'll post pics later) I fell
asleep at 5 and I'm getting up right now 9:08 and I'm hungry like hell.
and I miss Jake. waiting for him to call me is no fun.
<3
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| Dont stop here. |
[29 Oct 2004|02:33pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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music |
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COllide |
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The only thing I will ever ask of you .
I just awoke. It's friday. everyone at school is on that feild trip or
at home, so I decided to stay in bed all day! and I succeded, I woke up
in time for school got dressed had a talk with me mom, and here I am.
Freshly wound up and really hungry. School is almost over which
means I have to go to work in an hour or so. ahhhh. that sucks.
>Last night was so funny, because Jake always tells me he's going to
get off the phone at 12 (he calls me at 10) and he never gets off at
12. We'll be talking away then he's like oh K 10 more min. then that
ends up being 80 more hours! <3 :) He can't controll himself I adore
him!
47 <3
So whats on the agenda for halloween people? I get to work! 2-10 sounds
like fun eh? Im still a kid, i wanna go do stupid things that night.
But nope! I guess if Im not Exhausted I'll go out later, but I can't
count on it.
well I think Im going to go get dinner now. ha yea dinner. I hate
that thought , that I have to eat dinner at 3 o'clock. No time for
dinner at Night.
Subway it is.
Cya
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| BEEEK |
[28 Oct 2004|04:46pm] |
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mood |
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geeky |
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music |
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heres to the night |
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I awoke to the sound of Berry's voice on my phone. Urgh.
I got called into work, right before I was heading to school she calls
to see if I can come in. I hate when she does that, because she doesn't
give me enough time to think of a great excuse as to why I can't come
in. she said 4-10 but I said 6-10. I won. I also think I'm going to
turn in my Request form for Dec. 16 - 21 today. I doubt they'll say yes
too it, but it wont hurt to ask, and if not Im going to put in my 2
weeks and Kiss the bitch goodbye. So Instead of doing what I
planned on doing on my lovely day off... I get to go get dressed &
work like a slave.
Travis stopped by to show off his sexy new car, not really but he got
his D.L. today so you know the drill. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him btw.I
talked to Jake last nite, well I talk to him every night, actully &
I hope this works out. I know he can do it- but Im more worried about
me, hell I dont have anyone down here but its so frustrating having to
do this. so frustrating i dont want to deal with it. but deep down I do
and there is no way I wouldn't. If you get what I mean? Ovbiously you
wont, because its so different when we are together, it's just
remarkable. I don't think I've felt more happier in my life-time then
now, and it's just because of him. I will make this work. If it kills
me.
Tommarrow comes to take me away, I wish that I, That I could stay.
Sexy Glasses Eh?
<3
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[27 Oct 2004|09:41pm] |
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mood |
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good |
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So heres the update.
Its official I guess 10/24/04. Jake and me. it's exciting but not, because hes their and Im here,
I miss him. & then its stupid explaing it to ppl about the distance thing so I dont like to say where anything even though I want to just tell everyone. Do you get it or not. Im going up to see him for christmas and then hes going to come back down. Its frustrating but where going to make it work.
?
School is the same. Work is the same.
"all work and no Play"
Talk to me Sweet thang.
<3
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